I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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