is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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