you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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