ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize