So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
