In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't deserve a penis
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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