I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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