i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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