If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize