oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Every concussion has its silver lining
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize