her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You ruined the universe
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