She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize