Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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