If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian