I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The UTI came back with a vengeance.