yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful