You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
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Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?