Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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