We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
