There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
