im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
