Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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