She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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