I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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