Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
