If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
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I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?