This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.