she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!