my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close