Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
