she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Life is so much better after having sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
