So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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