hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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