Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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