So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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