can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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