Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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