***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
