Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
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the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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