I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
