dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize