I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
someone get that fucking seahorse.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
