Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
how can u be prego again
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize