for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize