saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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