Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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