He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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