dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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