Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
