YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize