the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
