My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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