I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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