But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
